Um

Have you ever possibly been fighting with your boy/girlfriend and not been aware of it? And how does one bring that up really? Is text an appropriate forum for that?
Is there litmus strip for that or do I just ask, "Are we fighting and I'm not aware of it?" Because I don't want that then to start a fight.

Sigh. I really have to say that communicating via text is not the best form of expression.

We should have audio in that house.

We could end up making millions.

Why is it that karaoke inevitably ends up with someone singing "I Will Survive"?

I like babies. They like me. That's all it takes. I'm an egoist.

Merry Christmas.

fondue and you?

i discovered that the turkey making you sleepy because of the tryptophan is totally bunk. as a matter of fact, cheese has more tryptophan than turkey while chicken and minced beef has a similar amount. i found the reason for sleepiness pretty disturbing-
"Any large solid meal (such as turkey, sausages, stuffing, and assorted vegetables followed by Christmas pudding and brandy butter) can induce sleepiness because blood flow and oxygenation to the brain decreases"

mmmm. eat myself into a coma.


we found a audio recording of my grandfather (who just died a few months ago) and my great grandfather having a conversation about milking cattle and buying a new tractor. made me think about how little audio we record and how many photos we take. emily, i may bug the house for audio. be warned.

my uncle has scanned in 1500 slides of my families past since around 1956 to present. amazing stuff.

i am becoming increasingly fond of my sister's baby children...babies arent half bad.

and, what did i get from watching i am legend? i want a dog pretty badily.

merry christmas

Well

I'm home.

I always end up drinking the night before a flight and I always end up regretting it. I woke up this morning, in my underwear, with a pile of clothes next to me on the ground, bag and belongings scattered every which way, half packed.

I'm so hungover that I think a ham and cheese croissant pocket is a good idea for breakfast.

The TSA takes my knife away which is understandable but then they also take my toothpaste away because it is too large. Because 4.34oz of toothpaste poses a national hazard whereas 3.0oz of toothpaste does not.

But I am glad to be back. My sisters and brother and I are driving out to Seattle tomorrow.

Glad to be done with work.

Dennis, I left your keys in the apt. I never heard from Emma and didn't have time to call her yesterday. As I walked out this morning, I saw that the Emily from the 3rd floor had left a little bag of chocolates pinned to the board for Ivan and Jennifer. I really tried to like her but I'm afraid it's irreversible now. I wanted to steal it and leave a Christmas card from me but I didn't have time for that either.

Dan's book came in!

Blockbuster? Nooooooooooooooo. How could you abandon Netflix in the first place? SUCKA.

Em, since we're not exchanging gifts until you're back, I think you not getting the cookbook yet will work out okay.

I went and did like I said I was gonna and got terrifically blasted last night. Like always, the day after an office party is awkward. Thankfully I didn't do the after-party; all the people who did have yet to show up yet today. I don't think I made too much a fool of myself. I do remember telling this girl I work with that she needed to breed an army with me. I don't know.

I pulled some muscle in my neck this morning. Pain.

blockbuster

blockbuster has decided to up the rate of their subscription from 25 to 35 dollars a month.
i miss netflix. i hope she takes me back. she had a better selection anyway.

hola

hello, jason! fancy meeting you here. although i know nothing of the subject, i hope the the dan family thing works well.


emma should be calling you (emily, not jason) about the keys someday. i had assumed that she would have picked them up before she went to work on the day that i left, but i was clearly wrong.

soooo.
today i caroled. not only did i carol and not only did i carol with a methodist choir, but i caroled with a methodist choir in a nursing home. no joke as we were singing "i'm dreaming of a white christmas," some lady was howling/ screaming/ shrieking/ committing suicide in the adjoining room. tis the season.

from there, i made an appearance at the annual methodist choir christmas party where last year emma was forced to attend and went straight to the punch which, much to her chagrin, was non alcoholic. this year's special dish contained bacon wrapping some mysterious meat. tis the season.

tomorrow, i have been asked to be interviewed about my exciting career as a stagehand who works on such shows as SNL and As The World Turns!


i think i am going to take a lot of pictures tomorrow which i also recommend you both do as well.

hearts and kisses and rainbow wishes,

d

Dan's cookbook is late.

It's not going to deliver until Saturday, after I'm gone. And when my office is closed. Ugh.

I have to pack but I'm debating whether I should just wait until tomorrow and do it drunk. Where did you guys have your work party this year?

Did you ever watch Atonement that weekend? How was it?

Seriously. Not. Surprised. At. All.

Personal Assistant is Charged in Broker's Killing

And obviously murder is indefensible but honestly, I can see how she could be driven to it.

Thank god I got out.

Good Grief

Blogger was acting wonky
spiteful place
er................ now I forgot what I was gonna post

i made dan map out what i have to partake in, family-wise,
and it doesn't look too bad, just a movie and dinner tomorrow
and brunch and dinner on saturday
otherwise i think he'll be running them around
and i can be FREE

i have my office dinner tonight
and plan on getting incredibly, incredibly drunk

Meth and all.

I guess it would be okay if you created a meth lab. Gotta pay the bills somehow.

So should I put the keys back in the mailbox? I took them out and haven't been home to put them back.

Were you at the apt when Ivan came by to change the valve on the radiator in the bathroom? Because it's worse than ever. It is literally a steambath in there.

Ugh. My feet stink.

Hi Dennis.

He totally got flustered.

But it was a coincidence. James was working on a project with his Polaroid and I thought Dan would know where to get film.

Your message was really sad last night. And the shortest message I've ever gotten from you. I don't leave until Friday afternoon. Tomorrow is my work's holiday party but I think I will only go for an hour. If I could invite people, I would invite you.

I get back on the 29th.

How is the sister and the sister's daughter? Are you forced to make awkward conversation or do you just hide in your room?

My pants are so tight that I think they are cutting off my circulation at the hip. They said they were stretch, dammit. Also I think my feet smell and I am wearing slingbacks so the smell is not confined to my shoe. No, it is free to waft in the air.

That is my day.

Also

The tickets for There Will Be Blood were gone as soon as they appeared. I think it was some sort of ruse. Bastards.

In Place Of "Argh"

Dan said he told you what he got you when you started asking about film; he got flustered. He normally wouldn't spout out such things. Except when his inner retard asserts itself. Okay, that's often.

Yeah, prezzies when you're back, I guess. I left you a message last night. When do you leave? Have you left already? When do you get back? Put a coin in the slot and I'll ask fifty more questions.

Dan's sister and neice are here as of today and I want to throw myself into a piss-stained snowbank for the next several days.

Hi Dennis!

it is about time

god loves us

meth lab

i was hoping to start a meth lab in the house. hope that is ok. i didnt think to ask.
emma has some stuff in my room that she wants to collect/ store there. i also asked if she would go to your bed daily and sniff your sheets which i typically do when there. you will be happy to know that she is willing to do it as well as deposit a mint on your pillow!

are you coming back?

Dennis...you left your keys in the mailbox. Does this mean you will never return? Over 50% of women in the US are over size 12. This is the fun fact you learn when you are trying to book a model for a product sold in a warehouse club that does well in X-large sales.

Jason...I guess we're exchanging gifts after I get back? Dan told me what he got me and for someone who is always pestering others about whether they want to know what I got them, I am taken aback and slightly discombobulated that he just dropped it on me with no warning. He should've beeped a couple of times, swung his arms down in railroad crossing-like fashion or prefaced it with, "I am going to tell you now what I got you."

I saw I am Legend. It didn't leave that much of an effect on me. Hey, Jason, did you get There Will Be Blood tickets? I can't check my Yahoo so I don't know if I was one of the lucky winners. Dammit.

i believe there needs to be a mathematical theorem written to define how the closer you get to the center of the united states, the fatter and uglier the people get. is this a universal truth? are people on the east and west sides of russia attractive and generally thin and the centrally located are thick in the waist?

(distance * 7)/the cosign of temperature in kelvin = rate of weight change?

I got your email. My brain's off today. Can't... think... straight...

I mostly did okay with the shopping. I wandered Sur la Table for about an hour and found a couple of things for his stocking but not the thing I went there for, which they didn't have. Or probably didn't have, I never asked anyone, but I knew where it would be and it wasn't there. They have it on their website but I decided to get him something else.

This reminds me, he needs a nutcracker.

Blah blah blah.

Sorry

I emailed you back and I think it's working but I'm not sure. Anyway, how was shopping this weekend? Did you get what you needed?

Hey you.

I emailed you but I imagine it got dumped or something. I can't even remember what I wrote. I guess I could copy and paste or something but blah it was all blah.

How's ya doing?

Welcome.

Please email/contact me through this channel. Work keeps me prisoner from all else.